Sunday I went with a friend to an aqua fitness class at the Newton Boston Sports Club (thanks, Alesia!). The class was fun, and a good workout, but I mention it because of the amazing pool in which class was held. There is a moveable wall that can create a class space, while leaving lanes for lap swimming (though much shorter than usual), and there is a movable floor to that class space, so that it can adjust for the heights of the students or be raised level with the sides so that people with mobility issues can get in and out comfortably.
When I first heard about that floor, I couldn't quite get my mind around the concept. Where did the water go? What would it feel like? Now that I've experienced it, I still don't understand quite how the water gets around the floor, but I do know that feeling the bottom adjust, gradually feeling on firmer footing, is a perfect metaphor for so much about my life now.
Ups and downs: it's all about ups and downs, treading in deep water and sometimes feeling the bottom solidify beneath my feet. And occasionally swallowing water and sputtering when I can't quite find my footing or slip a little on the tiles.
In the food department, I've had my moments of less than supportive choices (see Oops, my last post), but the other evening, when I was scheduled to add mint via some Haagen Dazs Five ice cream, when the moment came, what I really wanted was an apple. So that's what I had, and I enjoyed it enormously. I ended up having the ice cream in the wee hours when I couldn't sleep and was actually hungry, and enjoyed it enormously then. Both of those decisions were definitely an "up" moment.
In the sleep realm, my ups are that I find the CPAP mask generally comfortable and the machine incredibly quiet, and I don't have any trouble wearing it all night. But the downs are that I still have significant trouble falling asleep, and that I am not really sleeping very restfully -- lots more moments of conscious wakefulness, probably due to not being used to being tethered, than I had with the apnea. I assume that the bottom of that particular pool will slowly, slowly rise until one day in the near future I will be waking refreshed and restored from a good night's sleep.
In the area of physical activity, the up is that I am starting to be more active. The downs are that I am feeling more joint pain and am usually exhausted after I exercise. I know that both of those things will get better as I keep going, but sometimes the feeling of treading water in an uncomfortable pool makes it hard to stay in the water, let alone move ahead. Still, I know that persisting through the discomfort is the only way to lessen it, and so I continue to agitate hands and feet, metaphorically speaking, to keep my head above the water.
May we all feel the reassuring solidity of the floor under our feet.
A hui hou.