This has been a strange, interesting and frustrating week. Coming home from Green Mountain always feels a little strange and challenging, and this time was no exception. In addition to still dealing with a hacking cough and accompanying low energy level, I spent the week dealing with getting all the tests arranged and samples taken for my functional medicine evaluation, seeing my grandchildren, fleetingly, and getting ready for a 10-day trip to the midwest, which will be starting in about an hour. To say that I actually unpacked would be extremely kind; it was more like flinging the contents of the suitcase around the room in order to make room for the new contents. I'm not proud of it, but it was the best I could manage in my current physical state.
It's taxing, trying to stay in the moment without judgment. I'm sure that if I were truly mindful, being in the moment would be calming and peaceful; instead, it often feels like I'm rushing haphazardly from moment to moment. I'm not sure that's an improvement over my non-mindful state, except that I do believe the anxiety is less with the judging voice somewhat muted.
Food took a definite back seat this week. Since we would be home for less than a week before leaving for 10 days and had at least 2 dinner engagements, it didn't seem worth the effort and expense of doing a major shopping, so the choices at hand were severely limited. I'm not proud of that either, but it was the best I could manage in my current physical state. Ditto exercise, or lack thereof. I did do some walking, but each time ended in paroxysms of coughing. I hold out some hope that I'll be able to swim in the hotel pools, and I packed my spry tube. If I can do something physical even once, I'll feel like I'm back on my way.
So, off I go. Wish me luck.
A hui hou.